Fade in: College Football in 06

By Matt Bieler

College Football’s 2006 regular season is what Hollywood producers dream of….

Well…..sort of. College football’s screenwriter is still looking for an ending.

The biggest moneymaker in Hollywood this year is Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. Clocking in at $423,271,331 – domestic, and still counting as it hits its DVD release just in time for the holidays. It set the record for largest opening weekend in the history of cinema, and the movie was everywhere you looked. Johnny Depp was on the cover of everything - Rolling Stone, Entertainment Weekly, McDonalds drink cups – you name it, Pirates were in effect. The sidebar to the Pirates sequel that I always found interesting is that millions flocked repeatedly to the theaters to see, technically, an unfinished film. I mean, the film’s only memorable character and the only reason this franchise has exploded the way it has is swallowed by an oversized thingamabob at the end of the film and is presumably – well…..dead. We are left smack dab in the middle of the second act of an unfinished storyline. Is Jack Sparrow alive? WTF is up with Barbossa returning etcetc. So many unanswered questions that you have to watch the third and final installment of the trilogy…right? And we know, in classic Disney fashion, that when we do walk out of the theater after the third and final piece of the puzzle is released - we’ll be satisfied with a good guys win, bad guys lose ending – and all will be well with world….or at least in Hollywood for that matter. This brings us to the 2006 College Football season…



Ladies and Gentlemen I present College Football. Welcome to the greatest regular season sport on the planet. Where week one of the regular season might as well be week one of the playoffs – cuz one loss son, and you can forget about the trophy. Like Pirates, College Football’s season this year was a huge moneymaker in the ratings game - and had an amazing first and second act with great scenes that Oscar winning screenwriters would struggle to cook up. Ohio State walking into Texas with a swagger that can only be mirrored in a 007 film: Pac 10 officials making one of the worst calls in the history of any sport in the never forgettable, always embarrassing, Oregon/Oklahoma catastrophe (note: all the zebra’s in that game are just lucky Oklahoma is not Brazil or Argentina…because in those countries version of football, they’d all be cast-members of The Departed before they could make it off the field): Auburn/Florida linking up for more lead changes than Linsay Lohan has car accidents in maybe the most exciting game of the season: and as we hit the climax of the second act we have Michigan/Ohio State, which lived up to all the hype and then some, followed by a Chinatown – esque plot twist Robert Towne couldn’t dream of, with USC falling to UCLA in – hands down – the biggest upset of the year, not negotiable. Now here we are, in the same place we were at the Movie Theater this summer watching Pirates…..waiting for a resolution. Waiting for a 3rd act.

The BCS officials would tell you that the resolution is coming and soon – this blockbuster will – in their eyes - have a happy ending on January 8th. The BCS says a National Champion will be crowned when Ohio State and Florida take the field in Arizona. But do you really expect Michigan to buy this ending if Florida defeats Ohio State on a neutral field and Michigan defeats USC in Pasadena? Leaving 3 one-loss teams to argue their right for the trophy. And do you really believe South Carolina and Arkansas buys Florida belonging in the title game for one second? Both out-played Florida and if not for a blocked field goal from the heavens VS South Carolina and a brutal special teams fumble VS Arkansas - we would be watching a rematch on January 8th reminiscent of Ali/Fraser. And you can probably find a handful of other teams that think they should have a shot at OSU - even though Florida is the obvious pick because of their strength of schedule - there is always going to be Big East and WAC controversy until a solid ending is written for College Football’s multi-million dollar script.



The BCS is an unfinished screenplay. It is a million dollar pitch with a great cast of characters, and is never shy of stars on the field and on the sidelines. But it has no ending. So as we wait to find out the resolve of Captain Jack Sparrow and the rest of cast of Pirates in the summer of 07, we must also wait for the BCS to add a plus-one system to the post season to properly name a national champion and end all the debate and overall feeling of…..well….nothing.



On a final geeky note…

The Matrix Reloaded used the same angle Pirates is using by finishing the film in the middle of the 2nd act to get its fans pumped for the final installment of the trilogy. Which would, in theory, answer all questions and resolve the conflict. Reloaded was wildly successful, but unfortunate for the filmmakers, the resolution to this blockbuster franchise was so terrible that it left half of the fans uninterested, and for this viewer, almost forgetting how good the original Matrix film was. Don’t believe me? The numbers rarely lie. Revolutions did half the business of Reloaded, domestic and foreign. You heard me right. HALF!!!!!! That's like a USC Trojan fan showing up at the Coliseum next year with 40,000 screaming fans instead of the usual, 90 large representing for the red and gold. This brings up the question - could this be College Football’s fate? Can a great regular season be tarnished by a poor excuse for a post season? Are fans going to turn away if they don’t receive a satisfying ending to a great story? Time will tell. As for now the future of College Football and the Pirates franchise lies in the hands of a handful of suits and a couple truckloads of dead presidents.